Padxemzan is a god.

It takes the form of a very large, annoying cobra.

Padxemzan created the world nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Padxemzan, it will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Padxemzan, it will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.

Padxemzan's most sacred site is Xaaga in Mexico.

Padxemzan's Holy Commandments

1. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

2. Always look after injured ducks.

3. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

4. Never think about planets.

5. Your children must be taught to worship Padxemzan.