Pibgumkap is a god.

He takes the form of a very fat, quiet goose.

Pibgumkap created the Virgo Supercluster eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Pibgumkap, he will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Pibgumkap, he will send four elephants to rub you out.

Pibgumkap's most sacred site is Yerakini in Greece.

Pibgumkap's Holy Commandments

1. Fast once a month.

2. Do not listen to music.

3. Never look at moons.

4. Walk at least three thousand metres per day.

5. Hide if seven porpoises approach from the west.