Fenvidtonkhad is a god.

She takes the form of a chunky, sapient hippopotamus.

Fenvidtonkhad created a quark three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Fenvidtonkhad, she will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Fenvidtonkhad, she will turn you into a blue tit.

Fenvidtonkhad's most sacred site is Temmes in Finland.

Fenvidtonkhad's Holy Commandments

1. Never look in ponds.

2. You must pray to Fenvidtonkhad seven times a day.

3. Respect your elders.

4. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

5. Do not speak about coconuts.