Barnsigomtlapripvedbepwik is a god.

He takes the form of an enormous, loving dingo.

Barnsigomtlapripvedbepwik created Asia six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Barnsigomtlapripvedbepwik, he will be happy.

If you do not believe in Barnsigomtlapripvedbepwik, he will curse you and those you beget for twenty six billion years.

Barnsigomtlapripvedbepwik's most sacred site is Xtul in Mexico.

Barnsigomtlapripvedbepwik's Holy Commandments

1. Do not kill turtles.

2. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

3. Walk at least nine thousand metres per day.

4. Look mercifully on unfortunate bats.

5. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.