Hentailhog is a god.

She takes the form of a very heavy, idiotic finch.

Hentailhog created time and space nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Hentailhog, she will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Hentailhog, she will send two she bears to sort you out.

Hentailhog's most sacred site is Sanabo in Egypt.

Hentailhog's Holy Commandments

1. Erect four lead sculptures of Hentailhog on top of important buildings.

2. Hamsters are not to be trusted.

3. Retreat if five manatees approach from the north.

4. Never look in ponds.

5. Always help sick ducks.