Tinlarpcum is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly large, humane coyote.

Tinlarpcum created the Black Eye Galaxy nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tinlarpcum, she will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Tinlarpcum, she will say rude things about you at parties.

Tinlarpcum's most sacred site is Brechfa in Wales.

Tinlarpcum's Holy Commandments

1. Never pour water over plants.

2. Always pray in complete darkness.

3. Do not commit murder.

4. Always make sure there are no mice in a room before entering it.

5. Never talk about the strong nuclear force.