Vagflabtim is a god.

He takes the form of a microscopic, narcissistic wolf.

Vagflabtim created viruses five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Vagflabtim, he will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Vagflabtim, he will come to you in dreams.

Vagflabtim's most sacred site is Mogonono in Botswana.

Vagflabtim's Holy Commandments

1. Do not kill turtles.

2. Always make a point of helping unfortunate geese.

3. Never think about amino acids.

4. Look mercifully on unfortunate voles.

5. Do not listen to music.