Bamteensis is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely large, duplicitous rat.

Bamteensis created the Small Magellanic Cloud two million years ago.

If you believe in Bamteensis, he will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Bamteensis, he will send you a strongly worded letter.

Bamteensis' most sacred site is Letino in Italy.

Bamteensis' Holy Commandments

1. Bamteensis loves birds, so they must be respected.

2. Never write about comets.

3. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Do not commit murder.

5. Retreat if four cats approach from the north.