Bitnibpag is a god.

He takes the form of a three hundred metre long, resourceful whale.

Bitnibpag created light five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bitnibpag, he will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Bitnibpag, he will boil you in a big pot.

Bitnibpag's most sacred site is Kottucherry in India.

Bitnibpag's Holy Commandments

1. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

2. Always make sure there are no mice in a room before entering it.

3. Worship no other gods but Bitnibpag.

4. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

5. Never write about comets.