Hatrenflis is a god.

He takes the form of a very long, cheerful turtle.

Hatrenflis created the world five million years ago.

If you believe in Hatrenflis, he will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Hatrenflis, he will destroy your home planet.

Hatrenflis' most sacred site is Mmankgodi in Botswana.

Hatrenflis' Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no mites in a room before entering it.

2. Never mention goats.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

4. Run away if seven seals approach from the west.

5. Do not shave your hands.