Bellgemhas is a god.

He takes the form of a five hundred metre long, prudent raccoon.

Bellgemhas created time and space six million years ago.

If you believe in Bellgemhas, he will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Bellgemhas, he will hide angry, poisonous snakes in your dwelling place.

Bellgemhas' most sacred site is Iona in Scotland.

Bellgemhas' Holy Commandments

1. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

2. Do not stand on grass.

3. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Never look at moons.

5. Never sing in holy places.