Bomfenjan is a god.

She takes the form of a giant, calm hamster.

Bomfenjan created the Large Magellanic Cloud nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bomfenjan, she will be happy.

If you do not believe in Bomfenjan, she will have a low opinion of you.

Bomfenjan's most sacred site is Esse in Finland.

Bomfenjan's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear lead on your body.

2. Never talk about cell theory.

3. Show mercy to disobedient children.

4. Always stare at clouds.

5. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.