Gonbopyarlcibbit Quartgebtom is a god.

She takes the form of a chunky, smart mole.

Gonbopyarlcibbit Quartgebtom created Europe eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Gonbopyarlcibbit Quartgebtom, she will celebrate by creating some nebulas.

If you do not believe in Gonbopyarlcibbit Quartgebtom, she will remove you from existence.

Gonbopyarlcibbit Quartgebtom's most sacred site is Sanabo in Egypt.

Gonbopyarlcibbit Quartgebtom's Holy Commandments

1. Always help badgers.

2. Always look after injured dogs.

3. Never write about the strong nuclear force.

4. Always make a point of helping unfortunate whales.

5. Do not hurt aardvarks.