Satjigven is a god.

She takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, dishonest shrew.

Satjigven created silver four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Satjigven, she will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Satjigven, she will refuse to believe in you.

Satjigven's most sacred site is Katteri in India.

Satjigven's Holy Commandments

1. Hamsters are not to be trusted.

2. Always make sure there are no snails in a room before entering it.

3. Do not eat corn.

4. Respect your elders.

5. Never talk about fire.