Quim is a god.

He takes the form of a blubbery, passionate ferret.

Quim created humanity six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Quim, he will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Quim, he will say rude things about you at parties.

Quim's most sacred site is Burras in England.

Quim's Holy Commandments

1. Do not hurt pigs.

2. Always pray in complete darkness.

3. Always help sick bats.

4. Always wear turquoise.

5. Never write about the weak nuclear force.