Zunvogcetbell is a god.

She takes the form of a very heavy, happy hydra.

Zunvogcetbell created light five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Zunvogcetbell, she will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Zunvogcetbell, she will turn you into a giant slug.

Zunvogcetbell's most sacred site is Olmarch in Wales.

Zunvogcetbell's Holy Commandments

1. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Zunvogcetbell must be the most important thing in your life.

3. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

4. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Run away from red sheep, for they are unholy.