Poddinrow is a god.

She takes the form of a very fat, almighty dingo.

Poddinrow created Africa six million years ago.

If you believe in Poddinrow, she will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Poddinrow, she will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Poddinrow's most sacred site is Morella in Spain.

Poddinrow's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about gravity.

2. Never feed limes to pigs while wearing purple stockings.

3. Never eat lemons.

4. Poddinrow loves hamsters, so they must be respected.

5. Feed all hungry tortoises.