Flatvabtan is a god.

He takes the form of a minute, ill-tempered elephant.

Flatvabtan created life three million years ago.

If you believe in Flatvabtan, he will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Flatvabtan, he will destroy your favourite dwarf planet.

Flatvabtan's most sacred site is Maijoma in Mexico.

Flatvabtan's Holy Commandments

1. Do not kill seals.

2. Worship no other gods but Flatvabtan.

3. Walk at least nine thousand metres per day.

4. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

5. Always wear red.