Flatbidpod is a god.

He takes the form of a thin, compassionate hamster.

Flatbidpod created the planet Mars two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Flatbidpod, he will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Flatbidpod, he will hide angry queen hornets in your dwelling place.

Flatbidpod's most sacred site is Sanabo in Egypt.

Flatbidpod's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

2. Never skip in holy places.

3. Do not listen to music.

4. Never talk about gravity.

5. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.