Latlinvag Renqueegwan is a god.

It takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, intelligent alligator.

Latlinvag Renqueegwan created the planet Mars four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Latlinvag Renqueegwan, it will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Latlinvag Renqueegwan, it will curse you and those you beget for twenty six billion years.

Latlinvag Renqueegwan's most sacred site is Gorslas in Wales.

Latlinvag Renqueegwan's Holy Commandments

1. Never sit near swans.

2. Always pray in complete darkness.

3. Do not hurt mice.

4. Never talk about frogs.

5. Never eat bark.