Sasrapfad Xinnelten is a god.

She takes the form of an enormous, selfish hippopotamus.

Sasrapfad Xinnelten created carbon three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Sasrapfad Xinnelten, she will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Sasrapfad Xinnelten, she will send two she bears to sort you out.

Sasrapfad Xinnelten's most sacred site is Trujillo in Spain.

Sasrapfad Xinnelten's Holy Commandments

1. Always wear black.

2. Always make a point of helping unfortunate pigs.

3. Never laugh in holy places.

4. Pray towards the west.

5. Do not hurt swans.