Weexemtar is a god.

He takes the form of a heavy, ill-tempered penguin.

Weexemtar created humankind four years ago.

If you believe in Weexemtar, he will approve.

If you do not believe in Weexemtar, he will turn you into a hamster.

Weexemtar's most sacred site is Panormos in Greece.

Weexemtar's Holy Commandments

1. Do not trade with those who eat peas.

2. Do not fashion models of living things.

3. Never paint your feet yellow.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

5. Hide from magenta tortoises for they are unholy.