Fomnibquim is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely thin, emotional eagle.

Fomnibquim created the planet Earth seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Fomnibquim, she will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Fomnibquim, she will curse you and those you beget for all time.

Fomnibquim's most sacred site is Goldcliff in Wales.

Fomnibquim's Holy Commandments

1. Erect six aluminium sculptures of Fomnibquim on top of important buildings.

2. Always make sure there are no goats in a room before entering it.

3. Worship no other gods but Fomnibquim.

4. Never hurt snails.

5. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.