Pagsogstafven is a god.

She takes the form of a very thin, merciful dolphin.

Pagsogstafven created everything that exists four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Pagsogstafven, she will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Pagsogstafven, she will jump up and down fuming with rage.

Pagsogstafven's most sacred site is Bertkow in Germany.

Pagsogstafven's Holy Commandments

1. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

2. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

3. Always help tortoises.

4. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Pagsogstafven.

5. Always treat badgers with great respect.