Mettallim is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely large, irritating wasp.

Mettallim created the Whirlpool Galaxy six billion years ago.

If you believe in Mettallim, it will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Mettallim, it will send twenty two thousand, three hundred, and seventy eight badgers to sort you out.

Mettallim's most sacred site is Camon in France.

Mettallim's Holy Commandments

1. Always make a point of helping unfortunate grasshopers.

2. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

3. Run away from blue ants, for they are unholy.

4. Do not shave your arms.

5. Never pour water over plants.