Danhudvin is a god.

He takes the form of a very fat, compassionate hippopotamus.

Danhudvin created the Large Magellanic Cloud two years ago.

If you believe in Danhudvin, he will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Danhudvin, he will send two she bears to sort you out.

Danhudvin's most sacred site is Aimala in Finland.

Danhudvin's Holy Commandments

1. Walk at least seven thousand metres per day.

2. Worship no other gods but Danhudvin.

3. Always pray immersed in water.

4. Danhudvin loves voles, so they must be honoured.

5. Never laugh in the presence of gulls.