Fitjadmanyam is a god.

He takes the form of a slim, slow crane.

Fitjadmanyam created the planet Earth four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Fitjadmanyam, he will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Fitjadmanyam, he will remove you from existence.

Fitjadmanyam's most sacred site is Mazunte in Mexico.

Fitjadmanyam's Holy Commandments

1. Do not eat peanuts.

2. Do not cook food in pots.

3. Snakes are not to be trusted.

4. Never wear corsets.

5. Never look at black holes.