Cipvidtarp is a god.

It takes the form of a blubbery, tranquil monkey.

Cipvidtarp created the Small Magellanic Cloud nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Cipvidtarp, it will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Cipvidtarp, it will destroy your home galaxy.

Cipvidtarp's most sacred site is Pandamatenga in Botswana.

Cipvidtarp's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about cell theory.

2. Do not hurt ants.

3. Never write about horizontal gene transfer.

4. You must love Cipvidtarp.

5. Always help sick mites.