Gessbifxuc is a god.

It takes the form of a four thousand metre long, dishonest raccoon.

Gessbifxuc created the solar system eight million years ago.

If you believe in Gessbifxuc, it will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Gessbifxuc, it will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Gessbifxuc's most sacred site is Syndendro in Greece.

Gessbifxuc's Holy Commandments

1. Look mercifully on unfortunate squirrels.

2. Always help gulls in need.

3. Never eat bark.

4. Gessbifxuc loves capybaras, so they must be respected.

5. Your children must be taught to worship Gessbifxuc.