Jiphigab is a god.

He takes the form of a planet-sized, duplicitous turtle.

Jiphigab created a down quark four million years ago.

If you believe in Jiphigab, he will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Jiphigab, he will destroy your favourite solar system.

Jiphigab's most sacred site is Turckheim in France.

Jiphigab's Holy Commandments

1. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Jiphigab.

2. Always wear fawn.

3. Always stare at clouds.

4. Never wear shoes.

5. Never go into violet rooms.