Armyiksab is a god.

It takes the form of a minute, witty fly.

Armyiksab created an atom nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Armyiksab, it will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Armyiksab, it will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Armyiksab's most sacred site is Leswalt in Scotland.

Armyiksab's Holy Commandments

1. Show mercy to disobedient children.

2. Run away if three seals approach from the west.

3. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

4. You must love Armyiksab.

5. Do not drink water in violet rooms.