Vedjopsom Larplargzag Hasgigwot is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly fat, quiet cobra.

Vedjopsom Larplargzag Hasgigwot created the world two million years ago.

If you believe in Vedjopsom Larplargzag Hasgigwot, he will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Vedjopsom Larplargzag Hasgigwot, he will turn you into a mouse.

Vedjopsom Larplargzag Hasgigwot's most sacred site is Trujillo in Spain.

Vedjopsom Larplargzag Hasgigwot's Holy Commandments

1. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

2. Never talk about evolution by means of natural selection.

3. Do not chop down trees.

4. Run away if six rats approach from the south.

5. Never wear indigo kilts.