Botbidpang is a god.

It takes the form of a giant, sage goblin.

Botbidpang created a photon seven million years ago.

If you believe in Botbidpang, it will be happy.

If you do not believe in Botbidpang, it will curse you and those you beget for seventy quadrillion years.

Botbidpang's most sacred site is Iskmo in Finland.

Botbidpang's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about the weak nuclear force.

2. Never eat carrots.

3. Never write about asteroids.

4. Never go into magenta rooms.

5. Always wear turquoise.