Quimzedbit is a god.

It takes the form of a planet-sized, ill-tempered penguin.

Quimzedbit created energy two million years ago.

If you believe in Quimzedbit, it will approve.

If you do not believe in Quimzedbit, it will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Quimzedbit's most sacred site is Nuorgam in Finland.

Quimzedbit's Holy Commandments

1. You must never eat garlic.

2. Hide if six dolphins approach from the north.

3. Look mercifully on unfortunate swans.

4. Always obey Quimzedbit's priests.

5. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Quimzedbit.