Bamsakvin is a god.

He takes the form of a very large, unjust skunk.

Bamsakvin created the planet Venus eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bamsakvin, he will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Bamsakvin, he will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Bamsakvin's most sacred site is Edenryd in Sweden.

Bamsakvin's Holy Commandments

1. Never think ill of sick manatees.

2. You must never eat strawberries.

3. Never laugh near cats.

4. Never wear shorts.

5. Pray towards the west.