Ripyassstaf is a god.

She takes the form of a very thin, humorless mole.

Ripyassstaf created a quark nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Ripyassstaf, she will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Ripyassstaf, she will destroy your favourite planet.

Ripyassstaf's most sacred site is Polagam in India.

Ripyassstaf's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about gravity.

2. Do not chop down trees.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of platinum.

4. Retreat if six aardvarks approach from the south.

5. Always look after injured ducks.