Tettimismad Quarthamgig is a god.

It takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, witty whale.

Tettimismad Quarthamgig created light nine million years ago.

If you believe in Tettimismad Quarthamgig, it will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Tettimismad Quarthamgig, it will cry a lot.

Tettimismad Quarthamgig's most sacred site is Khwee in Botswana.

Tettimismad Quarthamgig's Holy Commandments

1. Always obey Tettimismad Quarthamgig's priests.

2. You must pray to Tettimismad Quarthamgig five times a day.

3. Do not drink alcohol.

4. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Tettimismad Quarthamgig.

5. Never pour water over plants.