Spagnartsig is a god.

It takes the form of a massive, almighty lobster.

Spagnartsig created the planet Mars eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Spagnartsig, it will approve.

If you do not believe in Spagnartsig, it will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Spagnartsig's most sacred site is Cobbel in Germany.

Spagnartsig's Holy Commandments

1. Always take life seriously.

2. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

3. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

4. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

5. Do not dye your hair brown.