Jadstragcunnut is a god.

It takes the form of a minute, boastful eagle.

Jadstragcunnut created matter six million years ago.

If you believe in Jadstragcunnut, it will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Jadstragcunnut, it will ignore you and hope you go away.

Jadstragcunnut's most sacred site is Aguaruto in Mexico.

Jadstragcunnut's Holy Commandments

1. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Jadstragcunnut.

2. Respect your elders.

3. Never paint your head red.

4. Never laugh in the presence of dolphins.

5. Never go into magenta rooms.