Toftinfly is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely thin, omniscient hyena.

Toftinfly created the world three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Toftinfly, he will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Toftinfly, he will turn you into a blue tit.

Toftinfly's most sacred site is Ronda in Spain.

Toftinfly's Holy Commandments

1. Put Toftinfly first in all things.

2. Always pray immersed in water.

3. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

4. Do not wear violet clothing.

5. Always treat ants with great respect.