Mappasjat is a god.

He takes the form of a huge, wise cobra.

Mappasjat created a strange quark four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Mappasjat, he will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Mappasjat, he will turn you into a tree.

Mappasjat's most sacred site is Dommerby in Denmark.

Mappasjat's Holy Commandments

1. Never hurt great tits.

2. Never talk about fire.

3. Never think about cell theory.

4. You must never eat aubergines.

5. Always stare at clouds.