Jingadflam is a god.

He takes the form of an enormous, self-confident bear.

Jingadflam created a photon five billion years ago.

If you believe in Jingadflam, he will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Jingadflam, he will curse you with boils.

Jingadflam's most sacred site is Paavola in Finland.

Jingadflam's Holy Commandments

1. You must pray to Jingadflam seven times a day.

2. Never talk about nematodes.

3. Do not dye your hair blue.

4. Never look in ponds.

5. Do not stand on grass.