Bessnegvon is a god.

She takes the form of a thin, humorless crocodile.

Bessnegvon created life three million years ago.

If you believe in Bessnegvon, she will approve.

If you do not believe in Bessnegvon, she will send two she bears to sort you out.

Bessnegvon's most sacred site is Mmankgodi in Botswana.

Bessnegvon's Holy Commandments

1. Worship no other gods but Bessnegvon.

2. Never pour water over plants.

3. Do not wear lead on your body.

4. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Bessnegvon.

5. Never bounce near otters.