Ingtomzag is a god.

He takes the form of a three thousand metre long, happy armadillo.

Ingtomzag created gold eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Ingtomzag, he will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Ingtomzag, he will send four elephants to rub you out.

Ingtomzag's most sacred site is Hobeck in Germany.

Ingtomzag's Holy Commandments

1. Do not jump in public.

2. Put Ingtomzag first in all things.

3. Always pray in complete darkness.

4. Birds are not to be trusted.

5. Do not stand on grass.