Flagnelgeplakpognegstik is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely heavy, merciful human.

Flagnelgeplakpognegstik created the Large Magellanic Cloud two million years ago.

If you believe in Flagnelgeplakpognegstik, she will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Flagnelgeplakpognegstik, she will turn you into a tree.

Flagnelgeplakpognegstik's most sacred site is Mogonono in Botswana.

Flagnelgeplakpognegstik's Holy Commandments

1. Do not chop down trees.

2. Never go into yellow rooms.

3. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of tin.

5. Do not drink alcohol.