Hogranarf is a god.

It takes the form of a giant, omniscient spider.

Hogranarf created gold five billion years ago.

If you believe in Hogranarf, it will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Hogranarf, it will send you a strongly worded letter.

Hogranarf's most sacred site is Buskerud in Norway.

Hogranarf's Holy Commandments

1. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

2. Never wear hats.

3. Always help aardvarks in need.

4. Never wear cyan rings.

5. Put Hogranarf first in all things.