Futbadlim is a god.

She takes the form of a fat, omniscient dog.

Futbadlim created the Sunflower Galaxy five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Futbadlim, she will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Futbadlim, she will not invite you to parties.

Futbadlim's most sacred site is Corsock in Scotland.

Futbadlim's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray in complete darkness.

2. Never talk about mites.

3. Do not wear blue clothing.

4. Never feed onions to moths while wearing purple tights.

5. Do not hurt geese.