Bembinben is a god.

He takes the form of a galaxy-sized, generous human.

Bembinben created silver five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bembinben, he will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Bembinben, he will curse you with boils.

Bembinben's most sacred site is Iona in Scotland.

Bembinben's Holy Commandments

1. Do not speak about bananas.

2. Never talk about fire.

3. Always take life seriously.

4. Never talk about planets.

5. Never play with disobedient children.