Kartiflistvig is a god.

She takes the form of a five thousand metre long, effective aardvark.

Kartiflistvig created a Higgs boson two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Kartiflistvig, she will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Kartiflistvig, she will try to impress you with rainbows.

Kartiflistvig's most sacred site is Turckheim in France.

Kartiflistvig's Holy Commandments

1. Never pour water over plants.

2. Never eat bark.

3. Show mercy to disobedient children.

4. Never eat pineapples.

5. Put Kartiflistvig first in all things.