Flamfatjarn is a god.

He takes the form of a chunky, fast goat.

Flamfatjarn created the universe seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Flamfatjarn, he will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Flamfatjarn, he will have a low opinion of you.

Flamfatjarn's most sacred site is Pisterzo in Italy.

Flamfatjarn's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about cell theory.

2. Never think about the weak nuclear force.

3. Always obey Flamfatjarn's priests.

4. Do not listen to music.

5. Never play with disobedient children.